01Your own shore
What we can work on
Everyday life and executive function: structure that suits your mind
Executive functions are the processes that turn an intention into action: starting, planning, judging time, keeping going. With ADHD and autism they often work differently, and that is not a question of character. In coaching you find out where exactly your day tips over, and you build structures that work with your mind rather than against it.
02Recognition
When everyday life costs more than people can see
Five sentences many people know. They are typical examples, not quotes and not a diagnostic checklist. Maybe you recognise yourself in one of them, maybe in none. Either is fine.
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Today
“Something is wrong with me.”
PossibleYou are not wrong. You work differently, and that can be understood.
In coaching: a picture of how you work, in your own words.
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Today
“I know exactly what to do, and I still don’t start.”
PossibleYou are not lacking willpower. You are lacking a structure that suits your mind, and that can be built.
In coaching: smaller first steps, visual plans, a visible time frame.
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Today
“I don’t notice time passing.”
PossibleYou cannot feel time by trying harder. You can make it visible, though.
In coaching: a TimeTimer, day plans and honest time estimates.
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Today
“My plans hold for three weeks, then they collapse.”
PossibleThe plan was built for a good day. One that survives a bad day is allowed to be smaller.
In coaching: less, but sturdier, with a way back in planned from the start.
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Today
“I hold it together all day and fall apart at home.”
PossibleYou don’t have to perform here. And you can learn to notice earlier when it is getting too much.
In coaching: the overload meter, early warning signs and a calm-down plan.
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Typical examples from working with neurodivergent people, not statements by clients.
03Understanding
What can lie behind everyday difficulties
From the outside it often looks the same: the task is there, and you are doing something else. But not being able to start is different from not wanting to.
Executive functions are not the same as intelligence, knowledge or motivation. That is what makes it so confusing: you know what needs doing, you even want to, and it still does not happen. Thomas E. Brown describes executive functions as several areas working together, from getting going through attention and effort to handling emotions. Russell Barkley has pointed out that with ADHD, regulating emotions is part of it too. So frustration, shame or excitement can make a task far harder than it looks.
With autism, something else often plays a part. Monotropism describes attention that goes deep into a few things at a time. That can be a real strength, but it makes every switch more costly: from one task to the next, from your room to the school bus, from a conversation back to work. Add sensory input that others barely notice, and the energy it takes to fit in.
Many people also know this: what is interesting or urgent gets done; what is merely important does not. That is not an excuse. It is useful information to plan with.
So coaching does not start with more discipline but with a question: where exactly does it tip? It is rarely where you expect, and it is rarely laziness.
Stage 2The bridgeWhat support can look like in practice.
04The bridge
How we work on your everyday life in coaching
No list of twenty tricks. We look for two or three strategies that fit your real life, and we check whether they hold.
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Understand where it tips
With the learning loop we look at one specific moment: what happened just before? The Käfermodell shows, across six areas of life, where the load is and where the strength is. The iceberg model shows what may lie beneath a behaviour. Together they explain why, say, mornings fall apart.
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Structure that suits your mind
Outside structure can take over what is hard inside: visual plans, a TimeTimer that shows the time left as a shrinking area, checklists, smaller steps. It often helps to tie the start to something that happens anyway, like brushing your teeth or getting home.
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Notice overload earlier
With the overload meter you learn to gauge your tension before it tips. Together we collect your early warning signs and make a calm-down plan: what helps when it gets too much, and where can you step out?
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Try it and review it
You choose a step you feel ready for and try it in everyday life. Then we look at what happened. If it works, you do more of it. If not, you try something else. A step back is information, not failure.
Every session starts with one question: “How balanced do you feel today, from 1 to 10?” At a 3, we steady things first. At a 7, the next step can be bigger.
Topics that often come up
- Starting, even with tasks that have been waiting for weeks
- Order and prioritising when everything feels equally urgent
- Sense of time and realistic planning
- Keeping going when the middle is harder than the start
- Energy that swings across the day and the week
- Routines with a way back in built in
- Organising study, homework and exam periods
What the work is based on
The work combines solution-focused coaching after de Shazer and Kim Berg with research on executive functions (Thomas E. Brown) and on emotional regulation in ADHD (Russell Barkley). Described in detail under How I work.
05For parents
For parents: supporting without taking over the system
If you are reading this for your child: work on executive function happens with the young person, not over their head. A system you introduce and monitor stays your system, and it often ends when you stop standing next to it.
What you can change yourself is often smaller and more effective than it seems. One example is declarative language: “Your trainers are by the door.” rather than “Put your shoes on, now!” Describing instead of instructing takes pressure out without removing responsibility.
If your child comes to coaching themselves, their goals lead. What you will hear about is agreed together at the start. You can also be a client in your own right, even if your child never comes to coaching. More on the parents page and in the article Supporting without constantly controlling.
Stage 3BloomWhat is allowed to change, at your own pace.
06Bloom
What a lighter everyday life can feel like
Not a perfectly organised life, just a few places where things get easier. Imagine a perfectly ordinary Wednesday:
A morning when your bag was packed the night before.
A task finally started after weeks, with an almost ridiculously small first step.
A plan that survives a bad day.
An afternoon when you notice it is getting too much before it is too much.
A missed day after which you pick up again without catching up on everything.
Less energy spent on the same things.
Examples, not promises. Every kind of growth looks different, and every kind counts.
07Limits
What this coaching is for, and what it is not
If it becomes clear that you need something else, I will say so and refer you on.
What it is for
- Understanding how you work and where your day tips over
- Building structures and routines that suit you
- Noticing overload earlier and catching it
- With or without an ADHD or autism diagnosis
What it is not
- Not productivity training
- Not diagnosis and not an ADHD assessment
- Not psychotherapy and not medical treatment, including advice on medication
- Not crisis support
If nothing has worked for weeks, whatever the task or the day, it is probably no longer about starting. Ongoing exhaustion, low mood or anxiety should be assessed by a doctor or psychotherapist. Coaching can sit alongside that, but it does not replace it. If things are acute right now, please contact medical or emergency psychiatric services near you straight away; in an emergency, call 144 or 112.
08Knowledge
Articles on everyday life and executive function
These articles go deeper into individual questions from this page, calmly and at your own pace.
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Everyday life and executive function
Why starting a task can be so hard with ADHD
Not being able to start is different from not wanting to. Why the distinction matters in practice.
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Everyday life and executive function
Routines that do not work against the person
A system that tips after three weeks was not too lax — it was too demanding for the everyday life it was meant for.
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Self-understanding
Masking, exhaustion and the question of fitting support
It works — that is the problem. Why the bill only arrives later and what can be changed about it.
09Questions
Frequently asked questions about executive function and coaching
What are executive functions?
Executive functions are the mental processes that turn an intention into action: starting a task, planning and prioritising, judging time, holding back impulses and keeping going. They are not the same as intelligence or motivation. With ADHD and autism they often work differently.
Do I need an ADHD or autism diagnosis?
No. Coaching does not require a diagnosis, and it does not make one. If you want an assessment, that is a separate route through medical or psychological specialists. More in the article Do I need a diagnosis before I start coaching?
Is this study skills or productivity coaching?
Not in the usual sense. The aim is not to get more done but to spend less energy on the same things. Studying and exam periods can be a topic when it comes to how you organise them.
How quickly does anything change?
That cannot be promised, and a fixed number of sessions would be dishonest. Often something small shows first: a smoother morning, a plan that holds. We regularly check whether working together is still useful. Needing me less over time is the goal.
My parents want me to have coaching, but I don’t really. What now?
Coaching only works if you get something out of it yourself. In the introductory call you can see in your own time whether it fits, and you have a say in the decision. For your parents there is the article When my teenager does not want help.
10The first step
A task that has been waiting for weeks is enough to start with.
In the introductory call we clarify what it is about for you, how I work and whether coaching fits. One concrete example is a good starting point. It is not a free coaching session and not an assessment, and in the end you decide. No pressure to sign up and no follow-up chasing.
- 20 to 30 minutes
- Free and without obligation
- Online or in Rheinfelden
Who are you asking for?
