How I work
How coaching works here
First understand, then take the pressure out, then find a step that fits you. This page sets out what the work is based on, how support usually unfolds and where its limits are.
01Concerns
What is often on people’s minds before coaching
Four thoughts many people have before a first conversation. They are typical examples, not quotes. If one of them fits, you will find more about it further down.
-
The thought
“I don’t want to be fixed again.”
How it is hereYou don’t have to be. The goal is not to become neurotypical. It is about understanding how you work and finding ways that suit it.
-
The thought
“I’ve had enough advice already.”
How it is hereThat is why understanding comes before changing. We start by looking at what actually happens in difficult moments, and at what already works a little.
-
The thought
“I don’t even know what I want.”
How it is hereThat is a good place to start. Finding a goal can be part of the work itself. You don’t have to bring one with you.
-
The thought
“Will my parents find out everything?”
How it is hereNot automatically. When you are the client, our conversations are confidential. What parents hear is agreed together at the start. I name the safeguarding exceptions openly beforehand.
1 of 4
Typical examples, not statements by clients.
02Stance
The stance
The person is at the centre, not the diagnosis.
Nor the agenda of parents, school or a method. Your goal and your pace lead. The direction is more self-determination, not more compliance.
What this stance means in a conversation
-
Understanding comes before changing
You probably know most of the advice already. So we first get clear on what is happening: in which situations, under what conditions, what is cause and what is consequence.
-
Your surroundings are part of the picture
When something isn’t working, it is rarely down to one side alone. We also ask what could change at school, in training, at work or in the family. Getting used to conditions that don’t fit is not a goal.
-
Diagnoses are lenses
ADHD and autism help explain why some things run differently. They don’t explain every thought and every decision. Sleep, overload or a relationship can play just as much of a part.
-
An explanation removes pressure, not responsibility
Understanding why something is hard can ease years of self-blame. Responsibility for your own steps doesn’t disappear. It becomes easier to carry.
-
Honest and respectful
A safe space doesn’t mean difficult things are off limits. I say honestly what I see, and I stay respectful while doing so.
-
Coaching should make itself unnecessary
It has gone well when you can increasingly assess, decide, act and ask for support on your own. Not when the sessions run on for as long as possible.
Stage 2The bridgeWhat support can look like in practice.
03The approach
Three steps on shared ground
The approach is based on solution-focused coaching, applied to how neurodivergent people actually function. The three steps build on each other and rest on ground that is checked before every step.
-
Understand
How do you work? What lies underneath the difficulty? And, the solution-focused part: what already works, even a little?
-
Support what fits
We strengthen what is already there: your strengths, your resources and structures that suit your mind.
-
Trust your next step
You choose a step you feel ready for, try it in real life, and we review together what happened. Whatever happens leads the work back to understanding.
Reflecting, learning and trying something new only work when the nervous system is not in overload. So inner balance is not a step you complete once. It is the condition checked before every other step: take the pressure out, build the relationship, and movement becomes possible.
What “inner balance” means in a session
Each session opens with a simple question: “How balanced do you feel today, from 1 to 10?” If the answer is low, we take the pressure out first and talk more about what is happening than about new tasks. If it is higher, there is room for a bigger step.
Inner balance doesn’t mean everything has to be calm. It means there is enough ground to think.
What “trust” means here
Trust means I trust you with a step you have chosen yourself. Nobody sets it for you, and nobody expects it to work. If something doesn’t work, that is information we carry on with.
People who respond to pressure by withdrawing especially need real choices. So I tend to invite rather than instruct.
Bridge and Bloom in the approach
The bridge stands for the accompanied way through understanding and support. Bloom is what trust can make visible: steps that belong to you, growth in your own shape and, over time, less need for support.
04Balance
Today sets the mix
In his work on mentoring, Laurent Daloz describes growth as happening above all when support and challenge are both high. Bridge & Bloom adds one thought: how you are doing today sets the mix.
“How balanced do you feel today, from 1 to 10?”“How balanced do you feel today, from 1 to 10?”
Around 1 to 4
More support
- Steady things and take the pressure out first
- More understanding, fewer tasks
- Smaller demands, smaller steps
Around 6 to 10
More trust
- A bigger step you chose yourself
- More ownership
- More testing in real life
If things are acute right now: Bridge & Bloom is not an emergency service. Please contact medical or emergency psychiatric services near you. In an emergency in Switzerland: 144 or 112.
Related reading from the knowledge section
A lot is too much right now. What matters now: take the pressure out, steady things, start smaller.
A bit wobbly. More support than trust: understand what is happening and choose one small step.
Fairly steady. Support and trust are in balance: plan a step of your own and try it out.
Ready for more. More trust: choose a bigger step, test it in everyday life, review it together.
A lot is too much right now. First, this is about your relief: take the pressure out, steady things, let go of what can wait.
A bit wobbly. More support than trust: understand what is happening for your child and for you, and choose one small step.
Fairly steady. A good moment to gently adjust communication and routines at home.
Ready for more. Time for bigger steps, such as a well-prepared conversation with school.
Support without trust leaves people where they are. Trust without support makes them retreat. The same logic applies to parents: if you are exhausted, relief comes first.
05The coaching arc
The coaching arc in eight stages
In practice, the three steps unfold across eight stages. The arc is a map, not a fixed curriculum. Some stages take longer, some are brief, and from reviewing, the work can return to any earlier stage.
-
Balance
Arriving
We start with you, not with the problem: at your pace and in your words. Many people look composed on the outside and are exhausted at home. So the first thing that matters is that you don’t have to perform here.
Nobody judges you, and nobody rushes you.
-
Understand
Understanding what happens
What happens in hard moments, and just before them? Knowledge about executive functions, emotional regulation, sensory processing and stress responses helps build a personal picture of how you work. In plain language, and yours to take away.
A picture of why, for example, mornings keep falling apart. It is rarely laziness.
-
Support
Reconnecting with strengths
When do you lose track of time? Interests and strengths are resources, not distractions. Misunderstandings are seen as a mismatch on both sides: difference, not defect.
Strengths linked to a real moment in your week, not just praise.
-
Support
Finding direction
Where are you now, and where would you like to go? On a scale, we look at what may stay, what should change, what can be combined and what is new.
You decide what to keep, not only what should change.
-
Support
Structures that fit
Outside structure can carry some of what is hard inside: visual plans, timers, checklists, smaller steps, early-warning signs and a plan for calming down. Plus language that invites rather than commands.
Two or three strategies that fit your life.
-
Trust
Trying it out
You choose a step and decide by when you will try it. If it is too big, we make it smaller. Self-efficacy grows from small successes.
A step you chose yourself and that feels manageable.
-
Trust
Reviewing and adapting
What happened? What helped, what didn’t? If something works, do more of it. If it doesn’t, we try something different. From here the work can go back to any earlier stage.
A setback is information, not failure.
-
Bloom
Going on independently
Bit by bit you take on more yourself: preparing, speaking, standing up for yourself. Sessions become shorter or less frequent once things go well without them.
You notice you need me less. That is exactly what the support is for.
The lines under each stage describe how a stage can feel. They are examples, not quotes and not a promise.
06The process
From first contact to the end of coaching
This is how it works in practical terms. The order is usually the same, the pace is not.
-
Enquiry
You get in touch
Through the enquiry form or by email. Young people can get in touch themselves, and so can parents. You don’t need to be able to explain exactly what is going on.
-
20 to 30 minutes
The introductory call
Free and without obligation. We clarify what it is about for you, how I work and whether coaching fits. It is not a free coaching session, not an assessment and not a crisis conversation. In the end you decide, with no pressure to sign up and no follow-up chasing.
-
Before we start
Agreeing the frame
We discuss goals, confidentiality and the role of parents beforehand. For under-18s, those with parental responsibility are involved, and consent, the frame and what parents are told are put in writing. Terms are discussed openly before any work together begins.
-
The first sessions
Arriving and understanding
Online by video or in person in Rheinfelden, in English or German. At first it is about arriving and getting a picture of how you work.
-
Along the way
Trying and reviewing
We agree how often to meet and adjust it as we go. Shorter gaps often help at the start, longer ones later. We regularly check whether working together is still useful.
-
Towards the end
Going on independently
Once things go well without it, sessions become less frequent or shorter. Ending is not breaking off. It is what the support works towards.
More about online sessions and the practice in Rheinfelden under Online & Rheinfelden.
07Foundations
What the work is based on
My work combines solution-focused and systemic coaching with current research on ADHD and autism, including executive functions, emotional regulation, sensory processing and the Double Empathy Problem. Here are the foundations in more detail.
Solution-focused and systemic coaching
Solution-focused coaching goes back to Steve de Shazer and Insoo Kim Berg. It asks what is difficult, and just as much what already works and how more of it becomes possible. Systemic coaching, drawing among others on Sonja Radatz, brings the wider setting in: family, school, training, work.
Joining and pacing means I start with you, at your pace and in your words, before we move on together.
Executive functions and emotional regulation
When I explain why starting, planning or switching can be hard, I draw among other things on Thomas E. Brown’s model of executive functions and on Russell Barkley’s work on emotional regulation in ADHD. Added to that are the role of interest in motivation, the processing of sensory input, and an understanding of meltdown and shutdown as stress responses, not choices.
The Double Empathy Problem and monotropism
The Double Empathy Problem (Damian Milton, 2012) describes misunderstandings between autistic and non-autistic people as a mismatch on both sides, not as a deficit on one side. Monotropism describes attention that gathers strongly around a few things. Both ideas carry the stance of this work: difference, not defect.
Support and trust
The balance of support and challenge draws on Laurent Daloz’s work on mentoring. The balance scale further up comes from there. I have added one thought: inner balance on the day sets the dose.
Tools in the conversation
In sessions I use concrete tools: scaling questions, visual plans and timers, a network map (“Who can help?”), an overload meter, early-warning signs and a plan for calming down. Much of this comes from my coaching training.
Not every tool has been studied scientifically. If an exercise is a practical aid rather than an evidence-based method, I will tell you.
My approach for parents
For working with parents I have developed my own approach, inspired by the PDA Society’s PANDA principles. It starts with the parents’ own stability: with more ground under your own feet, you can support without having to control everything. More on the page for parents.
08Limits
What coaching here is and is not
This clarity is not small print. It is part of taking the work seriously.
Coaching here is
- support around ADHD, autism and neurodiversity, with or without a diagnosis
- for teenagers and young adults aged 14 to 25, and for parents as clients in their own right
- work on the present situation and on concrete next steps
- understanding how you work, and structures that suit it
- preparing for conversations, transitions and decisions
Coaching here is not
- diagnosis or assessment of ADHD or autism
- psychotherapy
- medical or psychiatric treatment, including advice on medication
- crisis intervention or emergency support
- official careers or educational guidance
- case management, legal advice or consultancy for employers
- a promise of cure, normalisation or a particular outcome
If it becomes clear that something else is needed, such as an assessment, therapy or help in a crisis, I say so openly. I don’t simply end our work; I talk with you about which service might fit. Sometimes coaching continues alongside, sometimes a pause makes more sense.
If things are acute right now
Bridge & Bloom is not a crisis or emergency service, and enquiries are not read around the clock. If your safety or someone else’s is at stake, please contact medical or emergency psychiatric services where you live straight away. In an emergency: 144 or 112.
09Confidentiality
What you say stays in coaching
Coaching only works if you can speak honestly. Confidentiality is therefore the basis, not a side agreement.
-
When you are the client
What we discuss is not automatically passed on to your parents. What parents hear is agreed together and in advance, not afterwards.
-
Parent involvement is agreed, not assumed
Whether, when and about what parents are involved is part of agreeing goals at the start. It is never taken for granted.
-
For under-18s, also in writing
You can get in touch yourself. Before we start working together, those with parental responsibility are involved. Consent, the frame and what parents are told are put in writing beforehand, so that everyone knows the same things.
-
Confidentiality has limits
There are legal exceptions for safeguarding, for instance where there is serious risk to you or to others. I name these limits openly in advance, not only when they apply.
Sessions are not recorded. We go through the exact arrangements in the introductory call and put them in writing before the work begins.
Stage 3BloomWhat is allowed to change, at your own pace.
10Parents and school
Working with parents and school
When you are the client, your voice and your goals lead. Parents are involved where it helps and where you agree.
For conversations with school, your apprenticeship or your family, there is a clear order. It is designed so that, over time, you can speak for yourself.
If you, as a parent, are the client yourself, the focus is your stability, your understanding and your communication, even if your child never comes to coaching. We then prepare conversations with school together. More on the page for parents.
11Bloom
How growth can show here
Progress here doesn’t mean becoming less noticeable. It often shows in small things, and differently for everyone.
You notice earlier when it is getting too much.
A morning plan that works with your mind.
A conversation with school that you lead yourself.
A setback that feels like information rather than a verdict.
A goal that is truly your own.
Sessions that become less frequent because things work without them.
Examples, not promises. Every kind of growth looks different, and every kind counts.
12Questions
Common questions about the process
How many sessions does it take?
It depends on the situation, and a fixed number would be an empty promise. Some people come for a focused question over a few sessions, others are accompanied through a longer transition. We regularly check whether working together is still useful.
How often do we meet, and for how long?
We agree how often to meet and adjust it as we go. Shorter gaps often make sense at the start, longer ones later. A session usually lasts an hour. Sessions take place online by video or in Rheinfelden, in English or German.
Do I need to know what I want already?
No. Many people come feeling stuck without being able to say exactly why. Finding a goal can be part of the work itself. In the introductory call it is enough to talk about what feels hard right now.
What is the difference between coaching and psychotherapy?
Coaching works on the present situation and on concrete steps: understanding, deciding, trying, reviewing. Psychotherapy treats mental health conditions, with a different remit, different methods and a different legal basis. If it becomes clear in a conversation that something else is needed, I will say so.
More in the article Coaching or psychotherapy: which fits when?
What happens if it doesn’t fit?
Then we talk about it openly. You can end our work together, and I will also say so if I think a different kind of support would fit better. No pressure and no blame come from that.
13The first step
Find out whether it fits
In the introductory call we clarify what it is about for you, how I work and whether coaching is right for your situation. It is not a free coaching session, and in the end you decide. No pressure to sign up and no follow-up chasing.
- 20 to 30 minutes
- Free and without obligation
- Online or in Rheinfelden
Who are you asking for?