01Your shore
For you as a parent
Coaching for parents of neurodivergent children
You are a client in your own right here, even if your child never comes to coaching. It is about your stability, a better understanding of your child, and conversations that cost less energy.
02Recognition
When help lands differently from how it was meant
You can see your child struggling. You remind, organise, stay on top of things, and the more you do, the less seems to land. Four sentences parents often say. Typical examples, not quotes.
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Today
“I don’t understand my child any more.”
PossibleThere is a logic behind your child’s behaviour. Once you can see it, a lot can change, often for both of you.
In coaching: looking for the logic behind the behaviour together.
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Today
“I am failing as a mother or father.”
PossibleBeing overwhelmed is not a sign of lacking competence. It shows how much you are carrying, and where relief can begin.
In coaching: sorting out what you carry, and who could help carry it.
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Today
“Without us, nothing gets done.”
PossibleYou don’t have to control everything to support well. Where you let go, your child can grow.
In coaching: telling apart where you have influence and where control only costs energy.
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Today
“I am stuck between the school and my child.”
PossibleSchool, parents and child can pull in the same direction. A well-prepared conversation is often the beginning.
In coaching: preparing the conversation with school together.
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Typical examples from conversations with parents, not statements by clients.
03Reframe
What it is about
When you have more ground under your own feet, you can support without having to control everything.
When parents become calmer themselves, it often changes the atmosphere in a family more than any instruction. That is why your own stability is the first goal. It is not about making your child fit.
Stage 2The bridgeWhat support can look like in practice.
04My approach
P-A-N-D-A: my approach for parents
My CAS thesis on counselling parents led to an approach of my own, in five steps. It starts with you, not with advice.
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P
Opening the perspective
Instead of staying with the problem, we look at the last few days: “What was hardest? And when was it a little easier?”
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A
Acknowledging the load
Before we get to solutions, there is room for how much you are carrying. “That sounds like a very exhausting phase.” Guilt is taken seriously, not judged.
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N
No judgement
Hypotheses instead of verdicts, about your child and about yourself: “Could it be that a limit was crossed here?”
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D
Reducing pressure
“What could be dropped for now?” Fewer appointments, fewer debates, fewer demands at once. With less pressure, new things are easier to try.
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A
Developing alternatives
Small changes that fit your everyday life: fewer activities, real choices for your child, a visual morning plan.
P-A-N-D-A is my own approach, inspired by the PDA Society’s PANDA principles. Their letters stand for different words.
05Influence, not control
Supporting without controlling everything
Two sentences that are often true at the same time. Your child says: “My parents are checking up on me constantly.” You say: “If we don’t stay on top of it, nothing happens.” Neither side is to blame. Both are caught in a cycle of control and resistance.
The difference between supporting and controlling rarely lies in a single action. It lies in the question of who owns the task once you have finished helping. In coaching we look at where you have influence, where control only costs energy, and how you can hand responsibility back step by step.
06School
Preparing conversations with school
Many parents stand between what the school expects and what their child can manage right now. A well-prepared conversation can be the start of everyone pulling in the same direction.
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Preparing together
What is your concern? What does your child need, and what has helped before? Which two or three points should be on the table at the end? We sort this out calmly beforehand.
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You speak
You lead the conversation, in your words and with your notes. You know your child and their school better than anyone from outside.
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I support
Before, by practising difficult sentences. Afterwards, by making sense of it: what was agreed, what is still open, and what is the next step?
I don’t contact the school on my own initiative. You remain the ones who speak and decide.
07If your child says no
When your child does not want help (yet)
This is one of the most common reasons parents get in touch. Coaching does not work against a young person’s will. You can drive someone to an appointment, but you cannot make them work on something once they are there.
Refusal is often not aimed at help as such, but at a particular experience of it. Someone who has often been told what is wrong with them will understandably not say yes to the next offer straight away.
For you, this is not a dead end. You can come to coaching yourself and work on what is in your hands: how conversations start, what you take on and what you don’t, and how you are doing yourself. A door that is allowed to stay shut is sometimes more likely to open later.
Stage 3BloomWhat is allowed to change, at your own pace.
08Bloom
What can change
Relief rarely starts with a big breakthrough. Imagine how an ordinary week could feel once you have more ground under your feet again:
A morning with less arguing.
A moment when you read your child’s behaviour differently from before.
A task you deliberately hand back.
A school meeting you leave with a clear agreement.
An evening when you don’t have to keep everything in your head.
Less guilt, and more clarity about what you are carrying.
Examples, not promises. Every family is different.
09Questions
Common questions from parents
Does my child have to come too?
No. You are a client in your own right. You can come on your own, and the coaching is complete even if your child never takes part. You can also book the introductory call without your child.
What will I be told if my child comes to coaching themselves?
If your child is the client, their voice and their goals lead, and the conversation is confidential. What you are told is agreed together at the start. For under-18s this is put in writing, together with the legal exceptions that apply for protection. As a parent or guardian, you are involved before the work begins.
Does my child need a diagnosis?
No. You can come if there is a diagnosis, if you suspect something, or if you simply notice that the usual advice does not fit. Coaching is not an assessment. If an assessment would make sense, I will say so.
What is parent coaching here not?
It is not diagnosis, not psychotherapy or family therapy, not medical treatment and not crisis support. I also don’t take sides, neither against your child nor against you. If something else is needed, I will say so and refer you on.
What does coaching cost?
The introductory call is free. I discuss the terms openly before any work together. They differ for Switzerland, Germany and Austria. Payment is by invoice before the session.
10The first step
You are allowed to start with yourself.
In the introductory call we spend 20 to 30 minutes clarifying what it is about for you, how I work and whether coaching fits. Your child does not need to be there. It is not a free coaching session, and in the end you decide. No pressure to sign up and no follow-up chasing.
- 20 to 30 minutes
- Free and without obligation
- Online or in Rheinfelden